Shadowed Past
by KaydenceRei
Summary: Juliet meets a young Ben Linus. And wonders if thats what Harper meant when she said, 'Of course. You look just like her.' If you squint.. maybe you can envision some Suliet.


**Disclaimer**: Eh.. I own, nothing. Sadly.

**Shadowed Past**:

_I was beginning to believe that nothing in my life would ever be normal, or right again. Ever since I married Edmund Burke, my life had turned to Hell. Any of my research, wasn't mine anymore, it was Edmund's. Anything I accomplished, was Edmund's accomplishment. It was exactly the same when Richard Alpert recruited me for what I thought was a normal research job. In Otherville I was simply doomed to failure, kept there because I was 'his' and he would never let me go. Leaving the Others' didn't help either. Joining Jack on the beach. I was second to Kate. And what I thought was love, wasn't. It was just me trying to find myself again. I was still completely, and utterly alone. Now suddenly I'm in Dharmaville.. and I work maintenance on cars. Once again I'm stuck somewhere I don't want to be, pretending I'm someone I could never be. Only this time.. it's 1974._

Juliet Burke hadn't been thinking about much when Harper had said, 'Of course, you look just like her'. She hadn't been able to put two and two together. And maybe.. maybe now that she was stuck in the seventies she was still wrong. But as she watched the ten year old Benjamin Linus walk passed her, she made the assumption that this was how Ben knew her. Perhaps _this_ here, in 1974 was why Benjamin Linus became so obsessed with her in the future. Was it because he remembered her, or because she truly did look like somebody else?

She sighed and put her head in her hands. As if the world had made any sense _before_ the time-travel started. Now this was getting down-right ridiculous. Island full of people. Sure.. ok. Island is unknown? Alright.. Black smoke monster. _suuure.._ But time travel? Maybe she really was alive in the 70's and she was some smoked-up hippie. That would make much more sense then uncharted islands, black smoke monsters, and time-travel.

"Um.. are you ok ma'am?"

Juliet glanced through her fingers with her hands over her eyes. Go figure, it was mini-Ben. "Yes, of course," she stated calmly.

Ben Linus blinked, unsure of what to make of the woman. She hadn't been in Dharma long. But she seemed nice. "I'm Ben."

Juliet knew by her Dharma jumpsuit he already knew her name. "Juliet," she told him. "It's.. very nice to meet you Ben."

"You know, if its a headache or something, my dad usually has some aspirin.."

Juliet dropped her hands from her face and let her eyes soften a little. Whoever this little Ben was, he wasn't yet the monster that he would become later. "Thank you Ben.. but I'll be alright."

Ben smiled at her.

"BEN!"

Juliet glanced at the man.

Ben just waved to her. "That's my dad. I better go."

Juliet nodded and silently watched as Ben ran into the house and his father slammed the door behind them.

"Beauty and the geek?"

Juliet glanced up at James. "What?"

"I mean, who was that?" James asked.

Juliet felt a twitch coming on. She put her hand on her forehead and shook her head. "Ben."

"Ben.. our Ben? Big bad evil Ben?" James asked, staring at the door the kid went through.

Juliet let loose a small smile. "You got it.."

"Son of a bitch. How in the hell does a scrawny little geek like that turn into such an evil canivin'.."

"Probably from people like you."

James narrowed his eyes and let his eyebrow go up at her. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Juliet rolled her eyes. "What I'm saying, James, is that maybe if people didn't sit there calling people like him.. scrawny, and geeky, they wouldn't turn out so angry all the time."

James watched as she stood up and looked him straight in the eye. "So he's gonna turn into some homicidal maniac because I called him a scrawny geek, that what yer' sayin?"

Her laugh was actually real, for once since the flashes had started, she let herself truly laugh. Now that he'd said it, it did indeed sound utterly and totally ridiculous.

James just smiled and shook his head. So she was just playing with him? Well he supposed you had to get your giggles somewhere.

"I used to be like him."

James did look confused now. Juliet had been geeky?

Juliet just smiled at his reaction. "I was a mess, before the island," she explained.

"How so?" he asked her, taking a seat on the bench.

Juliet was silent for a moment.

"Hey, don't stop now," James told her. "All I know is what I've seen," he explained. "It'd be nice to know what ya' used to be like. Ya' know, pre-Ben."

Juliet sighed and shook her head. "I was.. nobody, James."

"Nobody doesn't seem like somebody Ben would want," James stated, and watched as she sat down beside him.

"You're right.." she stated. "I was a nobody to me.." she admitted. "I was a fertility scientist, working for my ex-husband whose only fun was flaunting his latest young prize in front of me."

James was silent this time. "Ex?" he asked suddenly.

Juliet smirked. "Well, once you pass the age of 30, he tends to get bored."

"So what made ya a somebody?" James asked her.

Juliet took and deep breath and leaned back against the bench, closing her eyes. "My sister," she answered. "Rachel had cancer, which after all the chemo, caused her to become.. infertile."

James remained quiet this time.

"She asked me for my help," Juliet admitted. "So.. I started doing some research.. and I was giving her daily injections so that she might become pregnant.."

"What happened?"

Juliet frowned. "Edmund found out."

"Edmund? That yer' ex?" James questioned.

"Yes.." Juliet replied. "Suddenly I was his.. favorite toy again," she explained harshly. "Saying that what I was doing could make us rich.. and _help_ a lot of people.." she stated. "Not that Edmund was actually interested in helping anyone but himself."

James managed to keep his mouth shut. He'd never imagined Juliet had actually had a hard life off the island. She seemed so.. independent.

"I was forced to.. turn down a job offer from Richard Alpert.. which.. well, we both know what that offer was now. I just didn't know at the time.." she explained. "Mostly because Edmund would never allow me to do it."

"And your sister?"

Juliet smiled for real this time. "She got pregnant.."

James grinned. "And it was thanks ro you?"

Juliet nodded.

"So then what happened?"

"She told me to go tell Edmund, and tell him where he could shove his ethics.." she answered with a smile.

James grinned.

"So.. I did, in a sense.." Juliet stated. "He wanted me to go public, but I refused.." she explained. "He was about to give some other nasty egotistical comment when he back into the street.." she started to say. For whatever reason, mostly because she still believed it to be her own fault, she felt the tears welling up. "But a bus hit him.. he died."

James looked almost shocked. Not by the fact her ex-husband died, but because the guy was such a prick, and she was actually upset over it. "And that upsets you?"

"It upsets me because it was my fault.."

James had that look of confusion. "Well its not like ya' pushed the man.."

"In a sense.. I did," she explained. "In the interview with Richard Alpert, I told Richard, the only way I'd be able to work for him is if Edmund got hit by a bus."

James opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out for almost a minute. "You know, that makes it Richard's fault, not yours," he told her, grabbing her hand. "We both know that Ben woulda' done whatever he had to so he could get you onto that Island."

"Yeah.." she admitted.

"I got one more question for ya.."

Juliet glanced at him and sat up.

"How'd you go from the soft-hearted Juliet to the one that zapped me in the neck with that stunner?" he asked. It was only a moment later he realized it was probably a bad question.

Juliet shook her hand from his and stood, going back to 'their' house. "Maybe some other day, James.."

James frowned as she walked away from him. It figured. He got her opening up, and he had to screw it up with a stupid question. He should've known that all she's said was more then she had wanted to tell him in the first place.

_I realized sometime later, in the next three years I'd stay with James in Dharmaville, that he wasn't judging me for my past with the Others anymore. Somehow, we'd become more then just an acquaintance, More then just a friend. I had his back, and he had mine. And somehow, one day during that three years to come, his acceptance of who I am now, and not who I was, would be the reason that I fell in love with him. My only issue now was Ben. What if Ben came back? I used to fear he'd try to kill Jack. But suddenly Jack had nothing from my affections. James had it all. And if Ben came back.. would I have to become the person I was in Otherville once more, to save the man I've fallen for?_

**()()()**

**So. This would be the first time I actually wrote something for Lost. Hopefully its enjoyable to everyone. It was stuck in my head..**

**-Kay**


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